Lurgan Coat of Arms The Armagh Guardian

29 August, 1924  


Near Lurgan there lived some years ago a penurious grocer named Brown, who also kept the village public-house. One day a well-known " drouthy soul" called and ordered a drink. The publican, knowing his customer, demanded the cash before handing over the liquor; but the thirsty one had none, and reluctantly turned to go, remarking in a plaintive tone, "We!l, ye wudn't hae lost anything by letting me have the gleas o' whiskey, as I would hae told ye something to yer advantage."

This was too much for Brown's curiosity, and with a little hesitation he handed over the drink. When this had been consumed and thoroughly enjoyed, the drinker said: "And now, Mr. Brown, what I wanted tae tell ye was this, if ever you are in Downpatrick gaol take the treadmill to the right, as it is the easiest worked!"


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